May 15, 2013

Wednesday

Sweet Poppy waits patiently for me outside a coffee shop, while I treat myself to the World's Best Mocha.

April 20, 2013

Saturday 

It is a beautifully warm day and the three of us walk out the front door, down a couple of handfuls of city streets to the Panhandle. We walk parallel to the park until we reach Golden Gate Park. We explore all the unknown trails, through meadows and tree groves, past ponds and sports complexes we have never seen or knew existed and yet, we were still in the city. At the park's edge, across the street from the ocean, we sit in the grass at Beach Chalet and share some fries and a burger before heading back home. It was a wonderful, eight mile city hike!

Walking Corona Heights With Poppy the Impatient Puppy

Walk #19 - Corona Heights

A view from the Corona Heights walk, near the summit.

Oh Poppy, my Poppy, I must be such a good dog owner, you have been walking like a dream puppy on our regular walks. It must be time to graduate to puppy girlhood and go on a more advanced walk with your "master". (Imagine a puppy snickering.) I finally get to take my advanced little dog on a nice relaxing and picturesque walk that I have been meaning to do for months, one of the Stairway Walks in San Francisco. This is a book by Adah Bakalinsky and includes twenty-nine, you'll never guess it, stairway walks in San Francisco. I bought the book after hearing an interview with her on Forum on KQED. Here is a link to the archived broadcast: Urban Stairs of the Bay Area. For our first stairway walk, I chose Corona Heights because it was close by (See the mapped route of Walk #19 at the bottom of this post). As fate would have it, it was a beautiful and frustrating walk, thanks mostly to Poppy the Impatient Puppy!

Okay, I will take full responsibility that I made many misjudgements:

1. I chose to wear old jeans that I haven't worn in months. I forgot I needed to wear a belt with these jeans and I spent the entire two hours continually pulling my pants up (ask me why I didn't turn around and get a belt!). 
2. I chose to take a shoulder bag instead of my usual, small backpack. This kept rubbing on my t-shirt causing it to hike up and up above my jeans, so I spent the entire two hours continually pulling my shirt down. 
3. I chose to take Poppy the puppy, who kept pulling on her leash ahead, behind, to the right and to the left, to sniff, chew and jump on whatever her nose desired, so I spent the entire two hours pulling and tripping on the leash trying to control her. 
4. I was actually trying to follow the directions of the walk in the book while managing the first three.
5. I was actually trying to take photographs, the kind where you need to be still while the shutter is clicking. Have you tried taking a photograph while a puppy has wrapped its leash around your leg and is trying to run after a leaf?

So, if you can imagine, I spent two hours walking up and down hills and stairways while trying to pull up my pants, pull down my shirt, follow directions, keep control of an rambunctious puppy and take photographs. Well I did get some exercise and I did enjoy the beautiful weather and I even got some photographs of some nice views, to see them, continue on.

On our way to the designated walk.

Sidewalk stairs on our way

Rows on Palm Trees in San Francisco!

A nice San Francisco sidewalk (except the couch...).

Geez, why can't I get this to grow at my house?

On one stairway down, we got drenched by sprinklers.

A nice tree along the stairway down.

Poppy, pulling me up more steps.

Poppy says: "Hurry up! Let's go!"

I make Poppy wait, but she is focused ahead.

A view of downtown from the hills we climbed.

Of course, Poppy wants to run up the stairs.

Some nice rows of San Francisco.

You gotta love the crazy streets and hills.

The summit of our walk, 400 ft.

A wider view of a San Francisco neighborhood.

Sutro Tower and surrounding neighborhood.

Another look, I couldn't help myself.

Some wildflowers growing out of the rocks.

Park Hill condos, which used to be St. Joseph's hospital.

Poppy is enjoying the wind in her ears and the views.

A wider view in the other direction, towards downtown.

A shot of the summit and its view beyond.

Wildflowers growing near the summit.

The steps down from the summit.

My lens cap rolled down this hill.

We arrived back at the house, I, frustrated with Poppy and glad to be back. As I unlock the front door, Poppy decides it would be a good time to pee on our neighbors doormat adjacent to our own. There are no words for my horror (our neighbor doesn't really like that we have a dog). I let her finish (what else can you do at that point?) and went inside and immediately opened a cold beer, glad to be finished the walk with Poppy the Impatient Puppy.

View Larger Map

I Am a Difficult Boss

A couple of weeks ago I had the idea that a morning walk, every morning, would be a good way to start my day seeing as how I have no job to go to and generally don't have to report in with anyone. I guess I only need to report in with myself. In order to do this, I need to leave and come back to the house, so that I feel like I have left home and then arrived somewhere, ready for my day's work. This may seem silly, but it is much harder then you would think to be self-disciplined each and every day. I am still working that one out.

Since I am really only accountable to myself (my spouse as well, but not any more than any other married person) I create my own additional responsibilities, to-do lists, chores and projects that I fill my day with just like a normal, working person would do. Being your own boss is both wonderful and incredibly hard. I think it is obvious why being your own boss is wonderful - freedom. Perhaps it is more difficult to imagine why it may be hard to boss yourself around. You have to motivate, manage, supervise and do performance reviews on yourself. These can be painful!

I have found that I am a difficult boss. I never do things fast enough, good enough or just plain enough. I give myself an unreasonable amount of tasks in an unreasonable amount of time. I don't let myself have breaks or take it easy. I give myself lectures when I am not performing up to what is expected. I am judgmental and critical of the amount and quality of work I do.

You are probably asking, what is it that you spend your days doing if you don't have a job? What kind of "work" are you doing? Well, I will tell you - I am doing things that I want to do, that I have wanted to do for a while, things I have put off until I had the time. And it is now time. So, I take these things that I want to do, many of which are creative projects that I really enjoy doing, and I turn them into work tasks that I beat myself up about because I am not improving, accomplishing or churning them out fast enough.

So today, when I told myself that I had to go for a morning walk because I told myself I would do it, I went. It was pouring rain, which is actually fine. I took some pictures, which was also fine. I drank my coffee while I walked - also known as multi-tasking. I hit the corner grocery store for my mid-week shopping run on my way back - gotta kill two birds with one stone, very efficient. Then I returned and started to write out my to-do list for the day while I did my hip and back stretches on the floor. Suddenly I realized that the main reason, the number one motivation for starting these morning walks is because I love morning and taking time to appreciate the new day, but I had just spent the last forty minutes doing almost none of that. I was so busy getting something on my list done that I forgot why I was doing it and instead was just grumbling about who-knows-what thoughts going through my mind.

So, enough of this craziness. I am working this one out, another thing for my to-do list. Just kidding, well, not really. All is not lost. I had my camera with me and it is the much kinder, gentler reminder to look around you, take it in and ask yourself, what do you see?

Below are a few of the images from my morning walk in the rain and fog in Alamo Square.

Donwtown San Francisco

Bush and Lamppost in Alamo Square

The church on Fulton Street

Horizon disappearing into fog.

Wet Grove Street

A Slice of City Life

I had to run some errands around town, so I set out towards Union Square and then Market Street with my camera. These are two vibrant areas and I hoped to capture a slice, here and there, of city life in San Francisco. Here are some images, while I made my way down Post Street.

The gritty part of Post Street

A woman walking from Post Street to Geary

A couple holds hands

A typical view on Post Street

Woman walking on Post Street

City Canyon on Post Street

A view of city life

Eventually I turned down Market Street, where it was busier than I had expected due to the holiday. The light was getting low in the sky.

Market Street

Man looking into the light

Jaywalker's shadow

Man with a briefcase

Shoppers on Market Street

Nearly empty Market Street

The sun was getting lower and it was quickly becoming cold and windy. My errands were only half successful. I guess I will have to try again another day.

The Light Shining Through the Tree

The light was shining through the tree and for no other purpose other than it was wondrous, I captured an image to share with you.

I ask myself, what is my purpose?

Foggy. 

Think, think, think, think. 

Foggy. 

Frustrated.

THINK! What is my ... ? What was I thinking about?

Go do something to be productive.

I am productive, I am busy, now I am adding value to this world.

What was it I asked myself?

It has been this way for a long time. I kept doing what I thought people were feeding me as the "right thing". From small things like writing an email to big things like choosing a career, I have existed mostly in a state of fog. It is easier to do what you are "told" then to face yourself and ask the hard questions.

I have no job, no kids, no long to-do list to sabotage my time. I have set my life up now so that I have no more excuses to not ask myself the question... "what is my purpose?" On a large scale, the answer remains, "I don't know."  What I do know is that purpose can come in small ways and small steps. I need space and time to make mistakes, conduct trials and errors and maybe breakthroughs. In a small way, my purpose is to share these things, to stumble upon them, carry them home and show them to you.

Along the trail lay the leaf, waiting to be appreciated for the artistic talent nature has with frost.